Stan and Alan - A TS3 story

[Fat D]

Meet Stan YHWH and Alan Of Suffering (now downloadable), created after a #grah session with virtuethrugod, our favorite christian fundamentalist tard.

virtuethrugod:   dont listen to the prophet of staan
virtuethrugod:   yes he is a liar
LilBrudder:   STAN!
LilBrudder:   NOT YOU AGAIN, STAN!

This is Stan YHWH. Quite a likable sim, I would say. At least for people who voluntarily frequent MATY. Stan is an evil mean-spirited hot-headed kleptomaniac (dare-)devil.

Whoops! We caught him while showering. Now we see his ass donkey in all its pixelblur-censored glory.

Now that is better. Now meet Alan Of Suffering, as introduced in the same #grah session:

virtuethrugod:   no heaven is not on eart
soozelwoozel:   heaven is a halfpipe
virtuethrugod:   earth is a lano f suffering
Aggie:   Heaven is a PLACE on earth.
JennyJenny:   Okay.. a lan of suffering?
Aner-Dyfan:   Screw God, screw his prophets. Give me jesus dong!
soozelwoozel:   exactly my point Aggie
LilBrudder:   Heaven is a magical place named CoolWhip.
HeyYeah:   "Heaven is a girl I know..."
V:   Earth is lamo F-ly suffering?
FatD:   no
JennyJenny:   Like playing against a room full of 12s?
V:   That is wha I heard
FatD:   Alan Of Suffering
virtuethrugod:   aner dyfan you will not say such things when you have rpeented for your sins
V:   OH
LilBrudder:   The Earth sheds a single emo tear for you.
V:   Alan!
FatD:   Lord Alan, Duke of Suffering or something like that
virtuethrugod:   after being cleansed by fire
V:   And he hates Stan, right?
soozelwoozel:   Alan and Stan
LilBrudder:   Alan of Suffering was the primary Prophet of Stan.
Aggie:   Duke of Earl.
V:   Alan & Stan... are they lovers?

Alan Of Suffering used to be the gay fancy lover (and husband) of Stan, but they broke up because Stan just loves beating up Alan. They still live in the same house though.

Oh, Alan is abusing Stan's computer, freshly stolen from the library. Guess what that means...

That is right, Alan is getting his first beating for today.

[cwieberdink]

This made me LOL.

[Assmitten]

Thanks, Fat D. MOAR!

[Fat D]

Because he needs to be fit for his career, Stan often visits the gym. He also makes extra money here by aiding in interior design. His speciality is making the room look mor spacious. Some of his efforts can be seen here:

We see him at work here:

This is also where he eats, as his ventures have not yet allowed him to acquire his own kitchen equipment.

Of course, everything goes well until Alan shows up,

leading to MOAR FIGHT,

leading, in turn, to inevitable pwnination.

BONUS:
At least he got to assrapedonkeyhipehope Mrs. Crumplebottom!

Take that as revenge for two generations of annoying sinners. Umm... Simmers, I mean.

[crunk]

LOL that this is most likely the first sim story of TS3! Stan's got quite a lovely beak there! 

[Fat D]

LOL that this is most likely the first sim story of TS3! Stan's got quite a lovely beak there!  

Thank you, I originally tried to make him look demonic, but where that did not work, I just went the bizarre route.
Stan is my PC in that playthrough, Alan gets very little control and all the townies and neighbors are NPCs.
Anyway, Jess pointed out that Emos should be offensive to Stan, so let us go after the closest thing to an emo the game has to offer, Cornelia Goth.

[01:54:45] jesslla: Emoness is offensive to Stan.

Upon reflecting that Mrs. Goth looks like an emo, Stan goes out to see her.

"I hate thine emo style. But thou art kinda cute." Poor Mortimer is forced to watch helplessly as

Stan rapes hipehopes her.

Meanwhile, incompetent Alan has broken Stan's computer.

You know what that means - Time for a beating!

And Alan is broken, too.

[jesslla]

"I hate thine emo style. But thou art kinda cute." Poor Mortimer is forced to watch helplessly as

HAH! Too funny.

[SaraMK]

You know, I missed the TS3 thing in the title, and I... still don't see how this isn't TS2. WTF? Why are you messing with my head?

[JediMaster]

This is hilarious!

[Fat D]

You know, I missed the TS3 thing in the title, and I... still don't see how this isn't TS2. WTF? Why are you messing with my head?

The graphical update is by far not as significant as that from TS1 to TS2.
Anyway, Stan has decided that mechanical experience cannot hurt (as long as he will not get electrocuted), so he is fixing the PC

and the shower, which stupid Alan has broken, too.

His most recent interior design project, making the natural lighting in the library more dominant by removing all sources of artificial light, is nearing completion.

But the tables in the center of the room still need to be removed, the room looks too stuffed. Maybe giving that computer to Alan might get him off Stan's PC.

The house has been redecorated as well, including a shiny new

kitchen. A legitimate purchase. Happens rarely in this household. However, unfortunately,

Alan decides to use it first, to make waffles. If this fails, you know what is going to happen.

But they actually turned out pretty nice. Too bad, we have to skip the beatings today.
Let us throw in a bonus beating for good measure.

There you go.

[soozelwoozel]

This is hilarious, but you forgot two crucial components to the Alan & Stan saga: Hippochrist and his fateway. Although perhaps Hippochrist is far too metaphysical an entity to be appropriately rendered through the workings of TS3*. We are not worthy!

*edited because I made a booboo

[Fat D]

This is hilarious, but you forgot two crucial components to the Alan & Stan saga: Hippochrist and his fateway. Although perhaps Hippochrist is far too metaphysical an entity to be appropriately rendered through the workings of TS2. We are not worthy!

This is TS3. And I am yet to indroduce Santa as well.

How is that for a hippochrist? The final version will of course get longer hair.
Well, let us continue the story.
Stan has gone to town to meet his boss for some social interaction.

Apparently, she agrees with his dislike of Alan. He invites her into his windowless twin tower of evil home.

By the way, it has been redecorated again with library equipment. Alan has his own PC now.

A new, bigger table from the library has replaced the old dining table.

As Alan's waffles are already spoiled, Stan tries to make mac and cheese

and fails.

Alan will pay for this.
After Dinner, the boss says goodbye,

Alan gets his ass kicked

And a new Sim has arrived in the neighborhood:

I wonder what is up with him.

[soozelwoozel]

<image snipped>
How is that for a hippochrist? The final version will of course get longer hair.

Brilliant. Although I'm pretty sure it's against Hippocristan doctrine to display craven images of HC. Enjoy your stay in hell PLASHMEMER.

[Fat D]

<image snipped>
How is that for a hippochrist? The final version will of course get longer hair.

Brilliant. Although I'm pretty sure it's against Hippocristan doctrine to display craven images of HC. Enjoy your stay in hell PLASHMEMER.

Splashphemy is Stan's job. I must not forget to have him meet Hippochrist at the pool in my next playthrough.
Stan has installed his new spoils from the gym. An expensive flat-panel TV

and a treadmill, complete with ceiling light.

At the pool, he meets a familiar face:

It is nobody else than Cheeseus Hippochrist!

virtuethrugod:    and anyoen who does not belive in jessu is crazy
adrisole:   I don't believe in a Jessu.
FatD:   BELIEVE IN CHEESEUS
FatD:   http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y170/designstation/Jesuscopy.jpg
adrisole:   FatD, that is fantastic.
HeyYeah:   rofl FatD
jesslla:   Cheeseus is my lard and savory.
Aner-Dyfan:   rofl FaTD
virtuethrugod:   fatd you will burn in hell when you die i hope you know that
kutto:   LOL V:   lol
Tyyppi:   I would happily accept Cheeseus as my savior
soozelwoozel:   he's just showing his faith VTG
HeyYeah:   Those cheeseballs Cheesus is holding are the best thing ever
Mitten:   Great, now I want a biscuit.
Amber:   Virtu, you sure did pick the wrong room to troll.
PirateNeko:   i love cheeses.
adrisole:   Virtue: won't I? Damn, I was so looking forward to hell
Aner-Dyfan:   No VTG, from your own admission if he repents he'll be fine

virtuethrugod:   the spanish are crazy anyway they are all hypocriste
soozelwoozel:   hippochrist?
virtuethrugod:   they onl say they worhip jesus but rally they al lworship the DEVIL
LilBrudder:   HIPPOCHRIST!
GayJohnScarritt:   oh, now he's calling Christ fat
LilBrudder:   soozelwoozel: I smell a meme!
Aner-Dyfan:   Hippochrist awesome
Metalkatt:   no, I think he's calling him a horse
LilBrudder:   HIPPOCHRIST!
Michael_the_choirbo:   She has a stuffed hippo- "Augustine of hippo" she calls it.
virtuethrugod:   hiipocrites ok
virtuethrugod:   not hippochrist
Dementropy:   Isn't Hippochrist half-horse, have-savious. Like a Christaur?
virtuethrugod:   hippocrites
virtuethrugod:   hypocrites
Aner-Dyfan:   Christaur lol
LilBrudder:   Christaur Redentor? 
Dementropy:   *saviour
virtuethrugod:   now you have me doing it
soozelwoozel:   hippochrist is infinitely better than hiipocrites
Michael_the_choirbo:   hungy hungry hippochrist.

The inevitable fight erupts.

They say Jessu always defeats the devil.

Apparently not.

I know, it is all Splashphemy.

[Giggy]

lol, hippochrist.

[Fat D]

Speshul Offar:
Now! Shiny! Stan and Alan for your own game. PLUS SECRET MATERIAL: Get to see outtakes and promotional material previously released only in #grah (or maybe here, too). Plus, a preview of future content, some uncaptioned pictures from an as of yet unreleased episode.
Get the pack here:
http://rapidshare.com/files/240937367/StanAlan.zip