J. M. Pescado
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You know the drill by now. This month, we seek out the MOST OFFENSIVE STORY OR MOVIE. Because it's not enough to just be shit....it must also offend common decency! We recommend you save shots of these turds before you submit them here, lest they be yoinked when brought to light.
Judges: Ellatrue
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« Last Edit: 2007 July 24, 06:43:30 by J. M. Pescado »
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Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off.
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Baroness
witch
Breakfast of Champions!
Senator
![*](/smf/Themes/babylon/images/senate.png)
Posts: 11636
Shunning the accursed daystar.
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Looks like the maids are cloning. ![](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v730/nz_witch/2maids-1.jpg) Ghastly little story, very appropriate for the topic.
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My fists are named Feminine and Wiles.
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seanachai
Asinine Airhead
Posts: 47
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Here's a brand new and sensational story from the Exchange: IM A DAMN GOOD MOHTERI don't know if it's offensive enough ... but it's hilarious. Christina: i rasied her better than to go run the streets woohooing with anybody Oh, Quintasia, you little slut!
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Baroness
witch
Breakfast of Champions!
Senator
![*](/smf/Themes/babylon/images/senate.png)
Posts: 11636
Shunning the accursed daystar.
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And for those that don't have the time to read it, this just about sums it up:
Chirstina:i am tired 5 months pregnate and i cant get any sleep cause your bastard children keep crying. Quintasia:sorry mom it wont happen again
Oh hell, some poor little teen bint agonised over this story, it has a ring of truth, but it's still very, very funny. Unintentionally ironic but so very funny. God I'm a hard bitch.
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My fists are named Feminine and Wiles.
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morriganrant
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The only one i can think of was an incest story i found on the exchange. It was apparently offensive because its been yoiked and i can't find it now. Amazingly enough it had good writing and an interesting story.
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« Last Edit: 2007 July 01, 17:24:02 by morriganrane »
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One day in college I was feeling very stupid. So I drove with Ben down to Maitland and toured EA Tiburon for an hour as an 'honorary intern'. I left feeling MUCH smarter. I recommend the experience to everyone. -this is a quote from an Ex-boyfriend of mine.. http://www.mediafire.com/?ng20de0zmly
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Khaki
Exasperating Eyesore
![*](/smf/Themes/babylon/images/nolips.png)
Posts: 220
HMPH
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Oh that was a precious story. The moral of it speaks to me : rape me, sodomize me, beat me, but don't ever - ever - try to make me cook and clean. God, I can't wait till part 2!
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Marchioness
rohina
Horny Turkey
Grammar Police
![*](/smf/Themes/babylon/images/grammarpolice.gif)
Posts: 14042
"So MEAN!"
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Oh, GOD, no. Who thought up this one? I am so not clicking any of those links. Poor Bangelnuts, I really pity her this month.
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cenoura
Exasperating Eyesore
![*](/smf/Themes/babylon/images/nolips.png)
Posts: 202
Talk to the hand!
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"rushed her upstairs to the patient room" WTF? Like every home has a room set up for patients with IV drips and hospital beds... And the spelling is making me go crossed eyed, it's like trying to have an IM chat with my 13 year old brother: "Quint: thats it every since i got pregnate yuo been acting reali mean toward me why mom im onli human we all ake mistakes i said im sorry" "WILL CHRISTINA EVER COME TO HER SENSES AND FORGIVER HER ONLY CHILD?" but she's got another one on the way, which should've been born by now.
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![](http://i39.tinypic.com/2z5n6vk.jpg) ISTP
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Khaki
Exasperating Eyesore
![*](/smf/Themes/babylon/images/nolips.png)
Posts: 220
HMPH
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...I am so not clicking any of those links. Oh my god, how can you not? I especially love how the "I'm a good mohter (sic)" story is, as far as I read, told with the walls down in all the pics. Here's one with only 3 entries, catagorized as "Mystery" http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=169923&asset_type=story&user_id=3904298 Here it is in its entirety: ![](http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/7108/storyvn4.jpg) She might be fat and ugly, but I bet she can spell and use punctuation correctly. ![Roll Eyes](/smf/Smileys/default/rolleyes.gif)
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« Last Edit: 2007 July 01, 12:34:39 by Khaki »
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Baron
Tyyppi
Horrible Halfwit
![*](/smf/Themes/babylon/images/nolips.png) ![*](/smf/Themes/babylon/images/nolips.png)
Posts: 368
Even more arrows in knees!
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as you can see this is a chapple family this person is 20 years old and i am not kidding this is the truth and false game do u think it is true or false this girl ate 5 continers of chinese food true or false. if u said true you are right not kidding. My eyes! My beautiful little eyes! They're bleeding! The goggles do nothing!
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seanachai
Asinine Airhead
Posts: 47
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All you have to do for this challenge is check the front page of the Story Listing on the exchange everyday. WITHOUT FAIL you will find gold. Today we have My Slut Mom, My Forgotten Sister, and Me. Sounds heartwarming. <3 This is my daddy. He walked out on us when I was 12. Why? He had found out that my mother was physically abusing me everytime he went to work, she smoked pot, and was cheating on him with 3 other men. So he left. He left me, just going into middle school. He left my sister, just about a year old. He left my family, but oddly, I understand why. Her daddy is Malcom Landgrabb IV by the way. This is my mother. Alexa. Yup, the Pot addict. And you thought she stopped to get my daddy back didnt you? WRONG! Guess what!? Shes doubled up doses. Shes basically became a slut ever since my daddy left her. She was gorgeous before! So what's worse? A "pot addict" or a slut? Tough call. Where is Dad? What will happen to mom? Will Lindsay go to the police about Alexas drug use and abuse? Will Alexa abuse Oliva just like she did to Lindsay when she was a little girl? Will they loose the house? Will Alexa get a boyfriend? Will Alexa get out of hand and do something drastic to her children?! Will Lindsay go to college knowing how horrible Olivas house is gonna be? Will Alexa get better? And does Oliva actually know whats going on?
IF I GET AT LEAST 1 COMMENT ABOUT THIS STORY, I WILL MAKE CHAPTER 1. Hope everyone is having a good summer!
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ieliminate
Asinine Airhead
Posts: 10
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![](http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/4599/snapshot9393f8447394056mw1.jpg) What in the world is this? How can that be catching butterflies? Nice story, a pot smoking slut. I gotta keep looking for these "literary masterpieces". I've seen some great ones in my time, I just wish I could still find them.
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Xuriel
Blathering Buffoon
![*](/smf/Themes/babylon/images/nolips.png)
Posts: 56
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I'll have to delurk, but this little gem I found needs to be shared: http://thesims2.ea.com/exchange/story_detail.php?asset_id=118960&asset_type=story&user_id=3042683Here's the story for those allergic to Exchange Clicking: BLUEWATER VILLAGE Ah yes, he started off as no more than a pathetic cook but suddenly.... His Mother died and she was a rather large women and took up 2 graves.He Must avenge her.... By getting married and having kids. She met sweet young Betty. Ah the light of his life. But this relationship was just not to be. So he killed her. So you may ask WHY THE HECK IS THIS SLIDE IMPORTANT??Well let me tell you. That is not an ordinary Picture. For behind it is a secrect chanber in which lays his X-Girlfreinds Left Nostrile. And a rare 1943 Gumball from Ugolsavia, along with a chocolate milk cows upper-right nipple. Supposivly he sharpend his knife waiting for his next victim to be killed, or maybe he might accually love the next one....... Then He met Janet. Will she save her life and win his heart?Or die from another murder? Let's find out. They were almost married except for the day before the Wedding he found out she (or should i say he) was a man, so the morning of the wedding he killed her and blame NASA.And untill this day nobody knows where he kept her left nostrile.
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Baron
Marhis
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Holy cow, I love how they recycle the default pics ![Lips sealed](/smf/Smileys/default/lipsrsealed.gif) .
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I say that a wise, when he does not know what he is talking about, should know enough to keep his mouth shut. -- C. Collodi, Pinocchio. ------ ![](http://i27.tinypic.com/m9anfn.png) The one and only Rhayden's AIDE. Accept no substitutes.
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morriganrant
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I find the pot head mother story amusing. Every pot head I have ever met has never been energetic enough to be abusive. Alcoholics as abusive I could believe most other drugs as well. Pot heads ...more the neglectful type. Pot heads generally just don't give damn. ....and how do you have double doses of pot? I wasn't aware there was a form of "dose" for it. Is it amazingly in pill form? Are they extracting the THC oil into ounces?
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One day in college I was feeling very stupid. So I drove with Ben down to Maitland and toured EA Tiburon for an hour as an 'honorary intern'. I left feeling MUCH smarter. I recommend the experience to everyone. -this is a quote from an Ex-boyfriend of mine.. http://www.mediafire.com/?ng20de0zmly
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Aggie
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So let me get this straight: Malcolm Landgraab discovers his wife has been abusing their daughter and in a fit of rage decides to leave without taking his daughter with him?! Now that's just sloppy characterization right there. Yuch.
The Columbine one has to be the most tasteless story I've ever read. The issue of rape has been so trivialized on the Exchange that I barely even blinked at the other ones.
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"I don't believe in the edit button; it goes against the very core of my being."
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ieliminate
Asinine Airhead
Posts: 10
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WTF is a Chocolate Milk Cow???
My Summary of BLUEWATER VILLAGE: "My mother is so fat she took up two graves and I needed to avenge her so I got married. I have a nostril fetish. I keep dismembered body parts in a secret chamber and I also have a gumball from Ugoslavia (Isn't it Yugoslavia?). Oh, I also murder my wives because that's what all the cool people do!"
It doesn't even make sense. That author is on crack, but most likely something stronger. I've wrote a few stories in my time (No one ever commented or read) and that is not a story.
Also, on the Columbine Story, I found it in horrible taste and sad that was all they had to write about. A tribute maybe, but a reenactment - no. I couldn't even read that, and I've read a lot of exchange trash. My favorite part was the painted on blood (not really).
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skandelouslala
Lipless Loser
![*](/smf/Themes/babylon/images/nolips.png) ![*](/smf/Themes/babylon/images/nolips.png) ![*](/smf/Themes/babylon/images/nolips.png)
Posts: 610
Don't look now but they're going to kill you.
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*goes back to her tiny world where she believes that only people with writing talent write stories of any kind*
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Marchioness
eevilcat
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Quotes from story: "Ahhhhhhhhh TWINSSSS""All they did was cry and cry and cry"Hmmn, suggest they install the Seasons patch - for a third time. ![Tongue](/smf/Smileys/default/tongue.gif)
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Baronetess
Lorelei
Grammar Police
![*](/smf/Themes/babylon/images/grammarpolice.gif)
Posts: 6512
I like pie. A cake is fine, too.
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So you may ask WHY THE HECK IS THIS SLIDE IMPORTANT??Well let me tell you. That is not an ordinary Picture. For behind it is a secrect chanber in which lays his X-Girlfreinds Left Nostrile. And a rare 1943 Gumball from Ugolsavia, along with a chocolate milk cows upper-right nipple.
This person clearly is confusing "putting disparate and weird elements together" for "writing something actually funny". A common newbie mistake. Putting un-alike items together in sequence is a comedy standard, but one that needs to be handled by professionals, not 12 year olds. The spelling mistakes, strange punctuation and odd capitalization, and childish "I said 'nipple', tee hee!" stuff just add to the overall shitfulness.
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Marchioness
rohina
Horny Turkey
Grammar Police
![*](/smf/Themes/babylon/images/grammarpolice.gif)
Posts: 14042
"So MEAN!"
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I thought the demands for comments really pushed the pot mother one over the edge.
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seanachai
Asinine Airhead
Posts: 47
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Holy shit, I think that Columbine story might be a contender for the winner. I couldn't even finish reading it. WTF.
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Hecubus
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I feel sorry for the judges....having to actually READ all of this shit.
::::shudders::::::
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Cheezserver Fund: 27-Sep: $2518 We made out goal - WOOT!
I think one of the things that keeps a person sane is healthy skepticism about what you believe. Every now and then enjoy a conversation with an inner voice that says, "You're full of shit again." —Stewart Brand
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