Bon Voyage dissatisfaction
witch:
Quote from: Ellatrue on 2008 March 26, 19:08:09
The only point in lurking before posting is to try and "fit in." Fitting in is for tools. Baaaah!
Bollocks. It's sheer politeness. If I walk off the street into someone's home, I don't change the topic of conversation, pinch the best TV chair or attempt to dictate the social conventions of the place. I watch - do these people drink tea or beer? Do they like rugby or litteratureTM? Is that atmosphere casual or formal? Is swearing OK or not?
We have a series of ads here for Sky, a television provider. The ads show a couple of socially moronic guys, without Sky, trying to fit in with various random strangers so they can watch TV. One example I remember, is they've walked into a cosa nostra house and ruffled the Don's toupee. Many of the first time posters remind me of these two blokes.
seelindarun:
Well, your example actually supports the first part of Ellatrue's point, which was that lurking first helps a person fit in. If the person in question wants something from the group, obviously it's going to help if they fit in. Whatever you may think about the value of fitting in, it is the prerogative of any group to refuse aid to those who won't fit in. Simple.
Ruffling feathers has a social value all its own, but it's frankly moronic to expect that to be a practical way of getting a bunch of people to help you solve a problem.
witch:
I see your point, though I contend I'm coming from a slightly different slant. It's not about what people can do for me but merely a common courtesy I would extend to any place where I don't set the mores. It is not so much about changing oneself to fit in, but more about sussing out if the place is a good fit. Having said that, I also don't go to any place that is alien to my own mores.
seelindarun:
I agree with you, and obviously I follow the same practice. However, I don't assume that everyone who shows up here wants or expects to join in socially. I think there are many ways to go about that, and causing a stir may serve your cause. Maybe it depends on personality; for example, spunky types who can give as good as they get might win some respect even if they flout the rules at first. Fitting in isn't the only way of joining in, if you get my meaning?
I just chose to limit my contribution to the case that came to mind, where a show of courtesy is undoubtedly useful. I think MATY extracts a notably high price for not fitting in, but I still think it's within the prerogative of this group to do so. Personally, I like it. It keeps the noise down. ;D
witch:
I'm still agreeing with you, this may be a MATY first. ;D
Yes, there are exceptions, B, Assmitten, Lorelei, Zazazu and many more have bounced into the place and made themselves known. Some MATYans like this, some don't.
I also like that MATY has high standards, it does keep the noise down and that can only be good from my point of view.
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