HUZZAH! Banned from Rentech.com!
veilchen:
Sandilou, I hear you loud and clear. I am amazed at the junk people feed their children and then wonder why they short-circuit. I firmly believe that diet has a massive influence on behavior, especially in children.
My son was also very active; he challenged his teachers constantly, and the worst part was, he was right 98% of the time. I was told to have him evaluated and medicated (all of my son's education took place in the US, my daughter is educated in Europe and the US). I politely declined. We had reached a deadlock with the school authorities, I would medicate my child over my dead body. He was lively, intelligent, and strong minded, in other words, perfectly normal.
Luckily his 8th grade teacher was a woman that took pedagogy at its pure form. She suggested we enroll him in the technical/vocational program. We did, and everything came up roses. He got a head-start on his career in electrical engineering, he was hired by the US coast guard as a civilian employee, and they are paying his way through college to achieve his goal (both my children have dual citizenship).
My daughter, after coming back to the US, so I can finish up my own education, was enrolled in my son's old high school. She is the same as he is; intelligent, outspoken, etc. I had to laugh though; I received a call from the teacher who had such a big hand in my son's rescue from the system. She said that my daughter's behavior is never questioned. The teachers just nod their heads, saying: "Oh, it's Ben's sister!"
Sandilou:
Quote from: J. M. Pescado on 2005 September 03, 18:30:28
This sounds like a kid who isn't beaten enough and is given too much sugar. Kids are like this when they don't receive proper discipline and are fed too much energy. Cut his food intake and paddle him.
JM, after what feels like centuries of teaching sometimes, I have to say you are so right! However, Renatus also points in the right direction: Quote
I talked him out of a tantrum anyhow, because I spoke to him like an intelligent human being who I respected, and he responded accordingly. I was shocked that me, at the time a 16 year old kid, could 'control' a supposedly violent 13 year old boy
Most children need firm and consistent boundaries - hence JM's demand that they get a good paddling. All children need to be treated with respect so that they repeat that behaviour. That particular 6 year old's parents were at their wits end with him. They had tried a good paddle - but he was so hyper he could easily outrun them! Plus, just like ZZ and others have pointed out, there was a chemical imbalance which was not his own fault. His parents needed as much help as he did.
I am far from being a perfect parent and I'm not one of those teachers who constantly blame parents for the shortcomings of their children, however, I do recognise that many of the conditions that children 'develop' in their teenaged years had their seeds sown in earlier childhood, be it down to poor diet or lack of firm boundaries. I have an overcompensated for, overindulged 15 year old of my own that backs up my theory. ::)
laeshanin:
Ah, to medicate or not to? A lot of the kids I see are heavily medicated and not just with good old speed (Ritalin), but heavy duty psychotropic drugs such as Haloperidol, Risperdol among others. Many anti-epileptics are good at sedation too, and see those used regularly. To be fair, Methylphenidate is not a regular drug of choice as it is controlled and the diagnosis has to be just right. It's effects on an immature body are astounding, and I have seen totally uncontrollable behaviour brought to manageable with its use. There does, however, remain the sicko parent who wants the child drugged so they can have a life, and because they're so inadequate they can't cope with what is within "normal" range (I hate the word "normal", cos I know I'm bloody well not!).
Stop feeding kids junk! Couldn't agree more. What's happened to good homely skills like giving a kid a decent meal instead of some crap from a poison manufacturer like McDee's?
Regarding diet, I work with this lad who is autistic, hyperactive (I mean, hanging off the ceiling by his toes stuff and wall of death!),learning disability and also on a restrictive diet: no gluten, no dairy (casein intolerant). Some bright spark let him have a bag of doughnuts...I swear to all that's holy if I find out who I will put their organs in a vice.
J.M. I've spent a lifetime ignoring and repressing, and still the f**ckers bite me on the arse every now and again. Perhaps I need drugs?
Danni:
It's scary that they're giving kids medication just for being normal high spirited kids (something I prefer to see than a child who sits still all day personally... and I have hyperactive siblings!) I know how psychotropic drugs can change your whole personality - Haloperidol made me paranoid, anxious, and I used to wake up in the middle of the night with my heart beating twice it's normal speed and that was on 1mg a day. Venlafaxine (antidepressant) made me violent, and Prozac sedated me to the point I could barely get out of bed, and I was always on very low doses, and physically mature.
I agree diet plays a huge part in how children act - my daughter eats a lot of fruit (as well as veg at mealtimes), and I try to limit the amount of additives and sugar she takes in (I know fruit has sugar in it, but it doesn't seem to affect her). Most of the time she's a well behaved toddler, who will play for hours by herself if she wants to. Give her a pack of additive laden sweets and she's bouncing off the walls.
Same with my sisters - give them sweets (especially those with E102 in it) and they wouldn't sit down for the next few hours.
laeshanin:
Children must have boundaries, and they need to feel secure. Loving them is not enough. So many well meaning parents have demon spawn as children because they can't bring themselves to give discipline. I'm not an advocate of the good thrashing but I do believe that an occasional slap when a child is very young and places itself in a DANGEROUS situation is useful, as is shouting their name crisply. It attracts attention, shocks, and stops them from proceeding with whatever they are about to do. Then you can intervene. Always reward good behaviour with attention and bad by withdrawing it. As a society we are too keen to give outrageous behaviour attention when all it needs is a child to be placed in a room for a few minutes, be IGNORED then have an explanation given as to why they should not behave that way. How many of us hold memories of being lavished with affection for something we did that was good, or of our parents joining us when we were well behaved, but recall the shouting, screaming and rows following a misdemenour?
This sounds a lot like training your dog, but it does work and is a very powerful tool.
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